C'est Moi

he's really sweet. he embraces me every morning when i start to wake up. he kisses everyone in the family lovingly --- and wetly. when papa or i bump into something and start yelping "owww! ouccchhhh!" he is the first one to rush to our side to comfort us, embracing us, kissing the sore spot. can pain last with such sweet attention? he's incredibly perceptive and sensitive for his age. he loves to sing and he sings well. his intonation is something i am truly proud of as a musician and i have entertained the thought of enrolling him in serious voice lessons in the future should he desire it.

i don't know how to explain it, but he breaks my heart. i see him and he grows so fast... the eve of his birthday, i held him close and whispered, "don't grow up too fast, please?"

if i call him "my baby" he looks at me sternly and says, "i am NOT! a baby!" and i shoot back, "you will always be my First baby, sweetheart, no matter how old you get."

one time he said, "i will never leave you alone, mama."

i tell ya, he really breaks my heart.

my mind is far away, thoughts dispersed. i have no pressing emotional upheavals and considering the excess of cr*p i had this same time last year, i'm enjoying the drought. nothing beats contentment and serenity... i can attend the french open this year because, as i joked with my waswit, "wala akong kasalanan sa iyo this year, so i'm going to paris, woohoo!" he smiled at me and allowed me to book a rather pricey b&b room in the 7th arrondissement (dana, let's have lunch or dinner on the 27th? that's when i come in, no tennis for me that day, so let's bask in the parisian spring sunshine and ogle the dreamy french!). i just need to fix my trip details to paris (will it be thalys or will someone with a car come with me?) and better yet, find me a roommate who can definitely cut my expenses in half!

certainly not i. i'm only in episode 10 of the first season and i am sorely tempted to order the season dvd's instead of waiting to get my stash when i return to manila this fall.

one of the best things to happen to ugly betty is amanda, the deliciously bitchy sexy assistant at mode magazine. enjoy amanda's best moments!

do you love it as much as i do or absolutely abhor the place? weigh in with your thoughts HERE, my dear friends and family.

i rarely rant online these days. apart from its being tiring, i find it tiresome as well. it's good for the first few moments of fiery passion needed to get it written, but when the emotions have cooled, the words stand as a testament of pettiness to such laughable extremes that you just want to stick your head in the ground far far away.

i think i'm learning. i finally did RANT online but! put a password to protect the entry so that the people involved, should they chance upon my words, will not have to see the full extent of my .... er, ah... rather unflattering depictions of their situations. it's a small step towards a more mature online persona, no? but just a small one, because i'd like to share it with those of you who are intrigued enough to spend time reading me in angst mode. message me and i shall happily provide the password.

i have another 3 years or so before things like this should really be non-existent! although given the kind of person i am... highly unlikely! heeee.