- if i had known 5 years ago what i know today, i would have studied music sooner and gotten out of ateneo for good. (ISM pays better. but no career track there. not for pinoys anyhow.)
- if i had known 3 years ago that i would someday be in belgium, i would have learned dutch (somehow, ok, somehow) and brushed up on my french
- if i had known 2 years ago how frail i could be apart from my one true thing, i would have endeavored to be strong in the face of temptation and adversity
- if i had known 1 year ago that friendship can never be forced, i would not have wept over the loss of friendships from people who were never really friends to me
- if i had known that i would not see someone for the next 2.. 3.. 4 months, i would have embraced him more tightly, more frequently, and listened to him more. even if i don't understand a thing about scottish-gaelic or german.
- if i had known i would be injured each year that i've been in europe, i would have developed more discipline in doing sit ups in bed and doing other home-based calisthenics
- if i had known that it would be difficult to find a dojo for aikido and katori here in belgium, i would have trained more often and more seriously back home. even if the sensei and other senior belts did not embody the ideals of the martial art they boasted to be experts in.
- if i had known that linguistics would be such a drudgery, i would have shelved my ego and NOT have applied for the program.
- if i had known that linguistics would be such a drag but that i would meet fantastic people (some to be friends for a lifetime, like D and T) i might have gone on and enrolled in the program, anyway
- if i had known that embracing the now --- being too much into carpe diem --- could get me into deep shit, i would not have risked as much as i have. really.
- if i had realised the extent of my being homesick, i would have spent more brushing up on IT and burning dvds and cd's for the terribly long days away from everyone dear and near
- if i had known how unfriendly my colleagues in ateneo were, i would have left ateneo. now, only my son keeps me there still. i don't know if they still want me there.
- if i had known that my being kengkoy and boyish would entrap me into a mould that have others seeing me as irresponsible and ditzy, i would have learned how to be hypocritical. i'm too old to be thus; so i suffer in silence. and hope that those who are truly my friends will know i'm not at all that way.
