Sunday, November 07, 2004
100 Sex Tips
HAHA! Now that I have your attention, journey with me as I try to focus on my life’s path, as sade puts it, in 100 points. (*edited last on 18 march 2005)
1. i am the 3rd child of 4; I’m the 2nd girl of two. here’s our pecking order: girl, boy, girl (moi), boy.
2. i used to be a starbucks girl, despite my not being a coffee aficionado. of course it's all image! i eventually shifted to figaro, the local version of starbs.
3. my dad gave me 2 names, both Russian in origin. The first one was taken from his favorite film that time, a boris Pasternak classic; the second name was that of my older sister who died when she was only 21 days old. she is buried under our home in marikina city.
4. I was born in early February, the age of aquarius! (when the moon is in the 7th house and Jupiter aligns with mars. Then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars!)
5. when I was a month and 2 days old, we moved into our permanent home. I’m practically as old as our house!
6. I started school at 4. went through 1 nursery school and 2 kindergartens.
7. I knew how to read before entering first grade. (back then, that was something of a “wow” thing; today, kids are reading at 2! Blame it on all those competitive pre-schools with all the brainy Chinese kids) i do remember being some kind of an SRA whiz in 4th and 5th grade. hehehe, pinilit pa ano.
8. i used to smoke, but only when i didn't have someone to talk to or i needed to make my amats go down.
9. I spent 5 years in an all-girl’s school. I was the kilabot of the girls then; as young as 10, I was being courted by fellow paulinians and described as “ang gwapo!” (nyeah-ha-ha!)
10. I was holding hands with my first ever crush, “zeus” (whattaname!) in maryknoll child study center, on a field trip to the wild life zoo on quezon ave., formerly known as quezon blvd. start 'em young, i say.
11. I have a small immediate family circle: in total, I have only 11 first cousins from both sides (3 on my mommy’s side; 8 on my father’s).
12. if there were a reward for “most dysfunctional family”, I’m pretty sure my family would end up in the final cut.
13. I have the most experienced kuya in the world; I have yet to meet someone who can rival his life experiences. Because of him, I am immune to anything shocking.
14. I had my first ligaw when I was 12. he later turned out to be an embezzler. he's now on the run.
15. I was a Filipino scholar for 7 years in the most expensive school (at the time). i nearly lost my scholarship in my 6th year. i made up for it in my senior year by getting kick-ass grades. still, because of my dismal junior year performance, ateneo said i wasn't eligible for the merit scholarships. hmph. the ego was crushed!
16. at one time or another, I was a promising gymnast, fencer, judo person, runner, and aikido person. Note: operative word is “promising”.
17. I had my first boyfriend when I was 14. that lasted all of one month and three days. I was his trophy; he was my first kiss. He was lucky he got me; i wasn't (it was a horrid first kiss). He was cute, though, but the only thing he could do well was dance new wave. I don’t know where he is today.
18. my 2nd boyfriend was my first real love. He was my guitar teacher and 4 years older than me. He taught me how to commute from makati to marikina. Uso pa love bus non. He taught me the ins and outs of cubao. Because of me, he became a member of the national karate team. He was cute and ultra talented. I broke up with him because my dad thought I was too young to be tied down. I was 15 then. Looking back, sometimes, I wish I had never let him go. But what did I know then, right? I guess he became one of my best memories in the art of love and relationships.
19. my 3rd boyfriend was my ego relationship. He was a freshman in a hotshot university; I was a senior in a hotshot high school (or so the image pundits say). What a beautiful pair we made! But we lasted all of one month and twelve days; he kept talking about his former crush from st paul qc, this damn achiever of sorts who reminded me of a pygmy version of wonder woman. there was also no fizz between us. (ego nga e) Years later, I would come to the irrevocable conclusion that he was gay. He’s now this hotshot advertising guy with a swank office in makati and cool parking in the philam building. He has a kid and he’ll never realize he’s gay, which is why he’ll never get married.
20. my 4th boyfriend was my high school classmate. He was my leading man in our school play. We were on and off for 2-3 years and we remain wonderful friends to this day. He would sponsor our choir post-concert cast parties at his bar on bohol avenue. Why didn’t we work out? Maybe because he over-analysed me and was always trying to second guess me. In one word? Disconcerting. We’re better off as friends. It raises the ante of my having cool and smart friends, besides.
21. my 5th boyfriend was my longest boyfriend ever. He would know me better than anyone in the world. On and off, we lasted 5 years over a spread of 9 years. As of this date, he is one of my best friends in the world. Our friendship is now 13 years old.
22. my 6th boyfriend was probably the 2nd time in my life I had ever loved completely. He was bad news. It was a relationship doomed to fail. We lasted all of 5 months. He broke up with me and three weeks later married his ex girlfriend to spite me. You can read more about him in my may 13 entry.
23. my 7th boyfriend was a secular seminarian at the time. He was short, dark, and anal-retentive. He broke up with me after I got back from Europe in 1998. the reason he cited was that i had cut off all my gorgeous long hair in favor of a boyish look. There we were in some expensive resto in makati, he telling me that his family and friends didn’t "approve" of us. I would learn later on he was having an “affair” with his childhood sweetheart. And oh, she had nice long hair.
24. my 8th boyfriend was Chinese. We lasted for all of 5 days but would be on and off for 6 months after that. He just wanted to have fun, he said. If his mother found out about us, he would be disowned from his ‘mana’. Well, I told him, I’m too old to play footsies, so you can keep your mana or you can keep me. He decided to keep his mana. he's a very wise man.
25. my 9th boyfriend was the one I said ‘I do’ to more than 3 1/2 years ago. One month after I met him, all of me knew he was ‘the one’. Of course no one believed me, not even my fiancé that time. My family ignored me for 5 months; I lost weight and got so ickily ugly. But my war of attrition declared me winner. We got married 10 months after our first meeting. Why wait?
26. I had a wonderful honeymoon in Puerto princesa, palawan. Because of my JVP connections, we spent a week doing all the cool things plus more on a very low budget. Had we done the package tour way, we would have had a 3-day honeymoon. JVP: just visiting the Philippines!
27. 3 days into our honeymoon, the attack on malacanang by the dissident erap-supporters happened.
28. speaking of edsa revolutions, I was part of edsa 1986 and edsa 2001. in edsa 1986, I went in search of tanks amidst a soiree and carnival atmosphere. What the hey, I was in my mid-teens, my hormones were raging, and there were soldiers to defeat! in 2001, my then soon-to-be husband and i were among the first ones at the shrine, right after the tessie oreta dance and the legarda tears (damn them both). when everyone else was flocking to the shrine 3-4 days later to party, we got bored and went home.
29. kris aquino was my classmate in 7th grade. We were groupmates in a music project where we had to dance to “karma chameleon”. This is the secret reason why I root for her even if my colleagues in ateneo and all my pa-konyo relatives are so ticked off by her. I want her to succeed and show the world the intelligent girl she is who sat next to me in social studies and music with mrs. Kaplan. Even then, she really could not sing or dance. and she already talked that way.
30. other showbiz schoolmates I saw walking in the hallways like ordinary citizens included sharon cuneta and pops fernandez. There was also nino muhlach. Many of my pinoy classmates now grace the covers of who’s who in the society pages.
31. I went to a catholic university after 7 years in a secular middle/high school. All my barkada was in the state U and I was already bent on going there to get away from my dad. But the deciding factor was my search for theology & philosophy, which the state U did not have. Theology was only part of 2 humanities subjects classified under general education.
32. I started my MA in English literature and language teaching after one year in the corporate world. Then, my reason for studying again was my need to get a life apart from all the soshi-ness of the workplace. it would turn out to be one of the best decisions i ever made in my life. because of the timing of my resignation from that corporate job, i found myself on a plane to england barely a year later!
33. I always knew I was a teacher at heart. a good one at that. :)
34. my first ever teacher was my father. What a smart, smart man! Well-read, nerdy, informed, sharp, analytical, objective. His motto: justice before love.
35. I was my mother’s problematic child. She didn’t know what to do with me. I understood this in my younger years to mean that she loved me least. Today I realise how naïve that view was. She emailed my husband recently and told him that as a mother, she tends to look for the child who’s missing. She was referring to the photos of my siblings earlier this year; they had had a reunion in las vegas with their kids and i was the only one not there. Mommy, of course, couldn’t know that she was describing how I had felt all those years I was growing up.
36. I would say I had a pretty much upper middle class childhood.
37. my first time abroad was when I was 11. it was my reward for becoming a Filipino scholar. From that moment on, any time I went abroad, I had to deserve it by virtue of academic excellence. my other sibs would be able to go abroad for reasons like "just graduated", "have to get away from my life here", "have to get over a breakup with a boyfriend", or simply "have not yet traveled".
38. I’ve been lucky enough to have gone to these continents abroad: around some asian spots (not those i want to see badly, though), europe, north america, australia.
39. for love of traveling, i would willingly take on another citizenship. just for that.
40. i've seen quite a lot of places in the philippines, thanks to my telecoms job, my training stints, and to my adventurous mother who wants a companion when she goes off on one of her star-chasing trips.
41. I had my first fling during the sinulog of cebu in 1994. I have learned since that flings are never flings for a woman like me. Somehow, my heart has this funny way of getting involved.
42. i have always thought that sex was overrated. but when you're in love, it can be the best thing in the world!
43. of all the roles a woman can play in a relationship, I have been the first woman, the other woman, the woman torn between lovers (sometimes more than 2), one of the squabbling women (awful role! This is the only role where I’m sure the guy doesn’t love me enough).
44. men have been known to misinterpret my outgoing nature as being easy-to-get. This perception has gotten me into so many painful situations, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
45. had I been in the state U, my course would have been business economics (and i would have taken that with one of my all-time crushes. maybe god had a better plan for me). after spending too many years in the bird-gymmed university next to the state U, i finally enrolled in the state U (redundant, diba???) in the program of my dreams.
46. I was on the dance team, choir, and theater in high school. I was also part of the honor society (default because of my scholarship), the mabuhay club (welcoming committee!), and the Philippine cultural club (mr acuna forever!)
47. all the men I fell in love with in high school fell in love with my best friend and co-scholar that time, darn it! She was the beauty and brains, I was the… clown?
48. no matter how old i get, i will be forever makulet.
49. I nearly died 2 years ago because of a severe asthma attack.
50. i drink any kind of alchohol except gin (traydor 'to!): beer. wine. vodka. tequila - with or without the worm. scotch - single malt or blended. but i don't drink soda or cola.
51. my father taught me how to drink when I was 12. he said that guys would try to trick and deceive me so he might as well equip me for that time. Unbeknownst to us both, men would find other ways to trick me. We neglected the other life lessons that other people had.
52. I had therapy last year. I’m glad I did. Otherwise I would have been a royal mess here in Belgium.
53. right after college, I became a Jesuit volunteer. i think my jvp year was one of the best years of my life. i would never exchange that one year for anything in this lifetime.
54. I was part of a youth charismatic group when I was 16. amen!
55. I used to conceal the name of my high school from my peers when I was a teenager because I thought that my manliligaws liked me only because of my school (partly true only).
56. my older sister does not know how to love me. but i know she does.
57. I breastfed my son for 8 months. He weaned himself from me. One day, he just decided he had had enough of my milk. He was pretty much the same with other milestones in his baby life. He decided his first time to pee, his first time to drink from the glass and not from the bottle. Things like those.
58. my husband is the best thing in the world to happen to me. he is my one true thing.
59. my kuya used to call me “panget”. I really believed I was ugly until I was around 15. now, more than 15 years later, I am still learning to call myself "ganda".
60. I was a tomboy in my childhood years. All my barkada were male and I was also sandwiched between two brothers. I remember my kuya kicking me on the hip with the words, “kung hindi mo tanggaling yang kembot mo, hindi ka makakasama sa amin!” so I got rid of that sway in no time at all! i wrote letters for my guy friends and those letters got them their girlfriends! of course, their relationship didn't last. talent like mine is rare and hard to spot if you're only pretending to have it. nyeah-haha!
61. I’ve been involved in boxing matches (with gloves) with my kuya as manager. That means he made money off bets he had his friends place. Odds were higher in my favor because I was a girl. and I won most of the time so the winnings were high. i never saw the money, of course. but i did get a mirinda or mountain dew for my efforts.
62. I started my choir career when I was 10. I became musical director of several choirs in the next 20 years. I was also part of all the choirs in the schools i attended. Music is really in my blood! today i'm the de facto musical director of the el shaddai gospel choir in brussels.
63. for our wedding, my husband took care of the liturgy while I took care of the music. It was a perfect combination. We also both agreed that the liturgy was central; everything else was peripheral, even if the reception cost 90% of the total wedding expenses.
64. I had a totally low-cost wedding that looked expensive because I didn’t hire any professional anyones except the quartet who played at the mass and reception. all services were done by very good friends. i even edited my own wedding tape! :)
65. I was swimming in a bikini when I was 8 months pregnant. In fact, I was outswimming my husband in the pool, doing 40 laps to his 10. that would be the only time i had the guts to wear my dream bikini.
66. perhaps the singularly most important thing in my life is music.
67. the first tier around the musical core includes: sports, books, friends.
68. I’ve recently discovered that I can write. I’ve always wanted to write. not just write, but publish an anthology of nonfiction essays on what it means to be a woman in the Philippines.
69. I subscribe to the idea that you have to be a whore in bed so that your man never has to use the polygamy reason ever. And so far, no one ever has. *wink*
70. I’ve had ballet lessons, jazz lessons, ballroom dancing lessons, and pangalay lessons in my life. I’ve enjoyed myself in all endeavors. Maybe I should modify what I said in number 62. I love dance over singing. But since I’m too old to dance the way I used to, and I sing better now than I used to, then age alters the priorities a bit.
71. I'd like to think that I'm a pretty darn good driver. I’ve been driving since I was 12. My husband is immensely relieved that I don’t drive in Europe. If I did, I’d probably be one of the autobahn/motorway inner-lane need-for-speed maniacs.
72. I’ve been propositioned by married and otherwise committed men in the past.
73. my ideal home would be or have the following: near the ocean, away from too much pollution, not in manila, with a sprawling lawn, a piano, tons of books, my collection of cd’s, vcd’s, and dvd’s, a section for just sports wear and gear.
74. I still want to go to the following places: Russia, Scandinavia, Mainland Asia, Africa, South America.
75. I had many MU’s (mutual understanding relationships) in between my official relationships.
76. i miss my mom and dad so much. in fact, i miss being part of a family where i'm just someone's kid, someone's sister.
77. I know many many people but have only a small circle of very true and good friends.
78. I’ve had the same best friend for more than 5 years now.
79. when we were kids, I had a barkada of cousins: me, my brother, and 2 other cousins the same age as we. I would direct all our let’s pretend games, choreograph all our dances, conceptualise all our programs. Perhaps the best memory is when we formed our own justice league. I assigned pipa to be wonder woman, my brother lee to be apache, and my cousin mike to be aquaman. When they asked me why they couldn’t be superman, green lantern, or flash, I told them that those heroes were already taken. By whom? They asked. Well, I said with confidence, by me! I was known as Super Green Flash. Eegad! I had to have it all! mwahahaha
80. I started reading nancy drew books when I was 7. by 9 I was on mills and boon. I was reading Sheldon and steele by 11. that explains why I was screwed up til my 20s. I really believed a man would come to sweep me off my feet. And when boyfriend in number 22 did come with his forceful ways, I didn’t know that he was bad news and that I should have made sure he didn’t get his hands on the edge of the rug beneath my feet.
81. my son means the world to me. He and my husband are the two most precious persons in my life.
82. they say I’m “kaladkarin”. Taken positively, this means that I can go anywhere anytime anyhow. That might explain why I enjoy traveling.
83. my mom believes that wealth is measured by the exposure one gets through traveling rather than by the number of clothes or cars or jewelry one owns.
84. I was managing my own bank account by the age of 12. that was the year BPI came out with the first ATMs in the Philippines. I considered it an honor to be given the chance to be in charge of my finances.
85. after graduation from college, I got very little financial support from my parents. When I was applying for my only corporate job, I used money I had saved while babysitting in the united states.
86. family and friends say I fall in love too easily. Sometimes I think that’s true. I think it’s because I tend to be gullible and believe that people are innately good and that they couldn’t possibly harm others. Talk about deluded.
87. I used to have a fetish for Japanese men. Until one particular fling in London with a married Japanese man who thought I was like the pinays he had met in Japanese karaoke bars. Me, a japayuki! Aba, puede.
88. if I had been a guy, I would have figured in many fistfights in my youth.
89. I used to be part of a gang of bmx boys who would “make rampa” in a secluded part of our village. I remember losing a tooth when the bike I was riding on (my cousin mike’s) “made semplang” and I was sprawled on the ground, dirt in my mouth and my mom’s bday gift of a watch broken from the impact.
90. I’ve had more than 10 pairs of eyeglasses in my life. I have this nasty habit of putting them in my pants pockets, my polo pockets, my coat pockets. Those aren’t the most hospitable of places for spectacles, I believe.
91. my singular luho when it comes to girlie things is my skin. I am a dermalogica fanatic. I think I have their complete line of skin products. I have the face wash, the microfoliant, the toner, the moisturizer, the booster, the eye care, the facial brush, the buff cloth, the conditioning body wash, the body lotion. After every bath, I feel like a dermalogica model.
92. sometimes, when I run or play badminton, I feel like a nike model. I would not hesitate to blow away thousands of bucks on nike apparel. Here in Europe, I don’t mind spending on Columbia, lafuma, adidas.
93. when I drive, the Jekyll in me takes over. I cut, I swerve, I do counterflows, I give the finger, I curse, I make gitgit kupal drivers. My friends close their eyes when I drive, my boyfriends pray they don’t have to get into a fight because of my angas, but my officemates know they’ll get to work in time if they decide to put their lives in my hands. Driving record? No accidents ever that I’ve caused except some minor side-mirror swipes.
94. I’ve never had SOP. i also never had the habit of staring at a guy's crotch the way my other girlfriends did. :)
95. I used to have tons and tons of diaries when I was a little girl. I wrote down tons and tons of stories in those diaries. both real and imaginary.
96. I was always the kind of leader who inspires. Lately, I’ve learned to become the kind of leader who empowers.
97. my dad says we’re very alike except for one thing. I have compassion.
98. I am my mother’s junior. I think my husband and father will attest to that vociferously.
99. I prefer hugs to kisses.
100. I don’t regret all the times I fell in love. good or bad. in the end, marami pa rin ako natikman! voila...
